There is a parable in the bible that talks about a banquet.
It goes something like this:
He told a parable to those who had been invited, noticing how they were choosing the places of honor at the table. "When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not recline at table in the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him, and the host who invited both of you may approach you and say, 'Give your place to this man,' and then you would proceed with embarrassment to take the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited, go and take the lowest place so that when the host comes to you he may say, 'My friend, move up to a higher position.' Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."
Within this parable are many lessons that we can learn from.
And the best way to learn these lessons is through the story of "Marley and Me".
=== The End ===
... ... ...
=== Marley and Me ===
The story of Marley and Me revolves around the many mis-adventures of a dog named Marley. The book was made into a movie, but I never got the chance to watch the movie. I only read the book.
Two things happen in the book that are of significance to us.
The first thing that happens is the owners John & Jenny are trying to conceive a baby, but end up with a miscarriage.
The second thing that happens is the owners John & Jenny are trying to conceive a baby again, and this time they do.
During my visit back to Vietnam last July, I went back to Vietnam with my 3 little brothers, my brother, my cousin, and my friend Loan.
The first few weeks there was spent traveling and exploring parts of Vietnam I have never seen before. During the last week there, I spent most of it mourning for an Aunt that had just passed away. My friend Loan also had lost her grandma too. She too was mourning and praying for the death of a relative.
The last week my cousin TA also spent 2-3 days in the hospital because her grandma felt ill.
When I heard the news, I remember thinking to myself, oh no not my cousin TA too.
Luckily for her, her grandpa only had trouble with his digestion system and came home soon feeling better.
The movie Up is about death too.
It's about a man who held on to his deceased wife.
=== The End ===
... ... ...
=== The Movie Up ===
The movie Up is about an old man who loses his wife to death. The man believes that in order to fulfill his wife's dying wishes, he is determined to take his house to a faraway place called Paradise Falls. For the majority of the movie he clings on to his floating house and makes his way to Paradise Falls.
Initially the man is in the house while it floats around. Soon enough he is knocked out of the house and is forced to hold onto the house by a water hose.
The more I watched the movie, the more I saw that the house really was a symbol. It was a symbol of his attachment to his dead wife.
The balloons on the house represented the house's natural path of moving up into space. The house represented his dead wife. The old man is the only thing holding the house down on earth. If he could let go, the house would fly away. In this same way, the only thing keeping his wife's memories in this world was him.
Who among you would say to your servant who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'?Would he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'?Is he grateful to that servant because he did what was commanded?So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.'"
It took me a couple of readings before I started to understand the gist of the story.
As the servant comes inside from working on the field, the master has two choices.
First, the master can tell the servant to come and do what the servant wants. Which is to sit down at the table and eat a well-deserved meal after a long day of work.
Second, the master can tell the servant to come and do what the master wants. Which is to take care of the master first, and only then will the servant be allowed to eat.
One choice is really a test. The other choice is just a command.
The future is predictable for one choice. With the other choice anything could happen.
One choice limits the servant while the other choice will set the servant free.
=== The End ===
... ... ...
=== Washing Dishes ===
My friend shared with me a story about washing dish.
She told me she very much enjoyed washing dishes for her mom. She liked to help around the house and she knew that by washing dishes, she was helping her mom in the best way. She loved her mom very much and would try her best to help her mom out at home.
At the same time, she told me that she hated it when her mom told her to wash dishes. She would do it, but she would resent doing it. I was confused by the conflicting views my friend just expressed.
How could you love helping your mom out by washing dishes, but yet when she asks you wash dishes ... you resent washing dishes?
Is this a case of ... hypocritical thinking? Talk positively about it, but when it comes down to doing it ... you can't do it?
I asked her to clarify what she had meant.
She thought about it a little and then said, this is what I mean.
When I see the dirty dishes and I wash it, it makes me feel good. I feel like I'm doing something good for my mom. I know deep down she will be very happy with my thoughtfulness. Of course I can chose not to do it. I can chat on the computer or whatever. In the end, if I choose to do something my mother wants over what I want, its because I love her more than I love myself.
But whenever my mom tells me to wash the dishes, it doesn't feel good inside. Somehow it feels like I have to do it. I don't really have a choice to do it anymore. If I don't do it, I know right away there will be a big argument. I will be accused of not obeying my parents. She will say that I am getting lazy or selfish. Which will make me feel even more resentful.
Then she will give me a choice of either doing it or being punished, which to me really isn't much of a choice. It seems to me that either way I choose, I lose. So in the end, if I do end up doing the dishes, it won't be because I love her. I'll do it out of fear. Fear from being punished, or yelled at, or lectured to. I no longer have a choice or a say. Someone is making that choice for me. Something is being demanded of me. And I have to give it or else face the consequences.
That explanation helped clarify everything. She enjoys washing dishes but only if she has the free will to chose it. She wants to have freedom to chose, instead of being forced to do it.
When you chose to do something for someone, it is an act of love.
When you are forced to do something for someone, it is no longer an act of love. It is just an act. And it is no longer love.
=== The End ===
... ... ...
=== Washing Dishes & The Parable ===
There are many common parallels between my friend's dishwashing story and the parable above.
In the parable, the master can say two things to his servant after he comes back from the fields:
#1. 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'
#2. 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'
In my friend's dish-washing story, she too is presented with two different predicaments:
#1. Washing the dishes out of her own free will.
#2. Washing the dishes because her mom tells her to.
It may not seem clear right now, but the #1's from the parable and dish-washing story are really the same. The same can be said about the #2's of both stories.
"As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be in the days of the Son of Man; they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage up to the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Similarly, as it was in the days of Lot: they were eating, drinking, buying, selling, planting, building;on the day when Lot left Sodom, fire and brimstone rained from the sky to destroy them all.So it will be on the day the Son of Man is revealed.On that day, a person who is on the housetop and whose belongings are in the house must not go down to get them, and likewise a person in the field must not return to what was left behind. Remember the wife of Lot."
Jesus spoke these words after making a prediction about his future. I'm not exactly sure why he mentioned the story of Noah and Lot here, but when I read this passage it made me think of tears and anger. ... ... ...
=== Noah & Tears===
A long time ago, my friend told me she couldn't stop crying. Day and night she would cry.
She would cry in her sleep. She would wake up crying. She couldn't eat anything because tears kept on dripping onto her food.
She told me she lost someone dear to her. Someone she would never ever see again.
Slowly she started to deteriorate. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
She spent her days in her bed crying.
All she could feel was sadness and pain.
I asked her, "Want to go hang out?" She replied, "I don't feel like going out." I asked her, "Want something to eat?" She replied, "I don't feel hungry." I asked her, "Let's go do something, ok?" She replied, "I don't feel like doing anything."
From the way things were going, it seemed like she was just going to cry herself into eternal sleep.
I was scared, because I didn't know how to help her.
I didn't know what she needed.
I just knew if things didn't change ... I might lose a friend again.
My friend who couldn't stop crying reminds me the story of Noah:
"As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be in the days of the Son of Man; they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage up to the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all."
When I hear the story of Noah, the ark, and the flooding it makes me think of sadness and tears.
When the sky pours down rain, to me the sky is crying.
God made the sky cry for 40 days and 40 nights. It rained so much that the whole world flooded and everyone drowned.
Everyone drowned in the fallen tears of the sky.
I think that also happened to my friend too. In her world, it was raining and pouring.
Instead of coming from the sky, the rain came from her eyes and also from somewhere deep inside her soul.
And if my friend didn't do anything, she would've drowned in all her tears never being able to re-surface again.
It happens all the time. People lose someone and their world becomes dark, gray, and cold.
Tears fall from their eyes and they can't stop crying. They are drowned in their own sadness and sorrow.
Some people give up on life and slowly drift into the darkness, never to come back.
Others want a quick ending, so they take matters in their own hand.
People who drown in their own tears are no different than the people who were drowned by the flood.
If it rains and pours enough, everything perishes.
=== The End ===
... ... ...
=== Overcoming Tears ===
How do we overcome sadness and tears?
Well how did Noah overcome rain and flooding?
He overcame the great flood didn't he?
To overcome sadness and tears we follow Noah's example.
First of all, Noah had an ark.
An ark stays afloat despite rain and flooding.
When you are sad and can't stop crying, you too have to try to keep afloat.
Keeping afloat means despite all of the tears shed, you never let those tears burn out the fire within.
Keeping afloat means keeping afloat, when you are being dragged down deep into despair.
Keeping afloat means that you don't give up, knowing one day the storm will past and the sun will rise.
Second, Noah had family on the ark.
If you want to get over sadness and sorrow, you'll definitely need family.
Family members will take care of us when we no longer care about anything.
Family will pick us up when we fall.
Family will carry us when we can't go anymore.
Family is very important.
Third, Noah had company. Plenty of company.
God knew company was important, that's why he told Noah to bring so many animals.
God even made sure that the animals weren't lonely by bringing two of each animal.
Company for you may be a pet or a friend. They both can have a healing effect on you. Most of us have friends and we all know how important they are during both good times and bad times.
Keep plenty of company around you and you'll weather any storm.
There once lived a new teacher who had a dream. She dreamed that she had the power to change every student's lives for the better. She would lead all of them to brighter futures, full of happiness.
Evidently, no one informed her, who her first group of students would be. They were the dropouts, the gangsters, the "un-teachables", the at-risk students. No one wanted these students.
Maybe if she knew who her first students would be ahead of time, maybe she would've picked a different dream.
But then again, maybe it wouldn't matter who her students were, her dream would still come true.
=== Two Sides of a Coin ===
Every coin has two sides. In every story there is usually two sides. Good vs. Evil.
The same applies to Freedom Writers. There is two sides to this story too. And here is how it is divided.
The two sides are divided into "People Who See Something in the Students" and "People Who See Nothing in the Students".
People who see nothing in the students include teachers, parents, the community, and even the students themselves. Teachers see them as drop-outs with no hope or future. The community see them as threats and a menace to society. Even the students, see themselves as gang-bangers who see school as a waste of time. If they are a girl, they plan on getting pregnant before turning 18. If they are a guy, they plan on dying in the gang wars before turning 18.
... ... ...
People who see something in the students, pale in numbers when compared to people who see nothing. Erin Gruwell is actually the only one who see's something in the student. Her husband supports her big dream, but doesn't really do much to directly influence the student's lives. What Erin Gruwell see's in her student is contrary to what others see. Instead of seeing students who are drop-outs, a menace to society, or dying before the age of 18, she see's the next generation of writers, publishers, artists, and professionals.
Erin knows somewhere deep inside all of them, they have the potential to be so much more than what they are doing now. And even though she is the only one who see's this, she never doubts this strong belief in her students.
=== The End ===
...
... ...
=== People Who See Nothing in the Students===
One of the people who see nothing in the students is an male English teacher named Mr. Gelford.
The following is a conversation between Mrs. Gruwell and Mr. Gelford:
Erin: I really think that the stories like the Diary of Anne Frank would be so great for them. But she (our English Chair) doesn't seem to understand that they could relate to these stories, seeing all that they have to face. Mr. Gelford: Of course, it's a universal story! I mean Anne Frank, Rodney King. They are almost interchangeable. Erin: Are you making fun of me? Mr. Gelford: God, listen to what your saying. How dare you compare those students to Anne Frank. They don't hide, they drive around in the open with automatic weapons. I'm the one living in fear. I can't walk out of my door at night Erin: And you blame these kids? Mr. Gelford: This was an A-list school before they came here. And look what they turned it into. So stop your cheerleading Erin, you don't know the 1st thing about these kids. From the way Mr. Gelford talks about Mrs. Gruwell's students, you can see that he blames them for all the troubles at school and in the neighborhood. He looks at those students and is disgusted by what he see's. To Mr. Gelford, they are all trash and will amount to nothing.
... ... ...
Another person who thinks Erin Gruwell is wasting her time with these students is her own father.
The following is a conversation they have over dinner:
Erin’s Dad: So how's work? How much are you making $27,000 before taxes?
Erin: If you know why are you asking?
Erin’s Dad: With your brains you could run a major corporation. Instead, I worry all night because you're a teacher at Attica.
Erin: Can you hear what you're saying? How many times have I listened to you about walking civil rights marches?
Erin’s Dad: These gangs are criminals not activists. You read the papers?
Erin: They said the same thing about the Black Panthers.
Erin’s Dad: I'll lay odds your kids don't even know who Rap Brown or Eldridge Cleaver were. You're gonna waste your talents on people who don't give a damn about education. It breaks my heart. I tell you the truth.
Erin: Well... I'm sorry. I can't help that.
It's one thing to have a complete stranger saying that you are wasting your time. It's another to have your own father tell you, "Just give up on these criminals in your classroom. You are wasting your talents on these students." Erin's father is another person that see's nothing in those students.
... ... ...
Next we have one of Erin's student named Marcus who see's nothing in himself. It's already tough having everyone tell you that these kids are a waste of time. Now you have your own students telling you to give up on them.
Here is a heated debate between Erin and Marcus over the importance of education.
Marcus: Lady stop acting like you're trying to understand our situation and just do your little babysitting up there.
Erin: That's all you think this is?
Marcus: It ain't nothing else. When I look out in the world, I don't see nobody that looks like me with their pockets full unless they're rapping a lyric or dribbling a ball.
Marcus: So what else you got in here for me?
Erin: And what if you can't rap a lyric or dribble a ball?
Marcus: It ain't this. I know that much.
Erin: And you all think you're gonna make it to graduation like this?
Marcus: I made it to high school. Ain't nobody stopped me. Lady I'm lucky if I make it to 18. We in a war. We're graduating every day we live because we ain't afraid to die protecting our own. At least when you die for your own you die with respect you die a warrior.
